The psychology is totally different. An abuser has a very specific focus of his own self-hatred. I firmly believe that people who abuse his/her spouse have a deep, underlying hatred of their own situation. In some cases, mental illness might come into play.
I believe terrorists probably view themselves as special somehow, as having permission to commit these acts because their cause is just, more important than anything else. Their whole existence is focussed on this one thing, to cause terror, to draw attention to their cause.
I am dutch and when i was a child, I remember being afraid to go to school because an Indonesion terrorist group had taken an elementary hostage. I have perhaps a longer acquantance with terrorism as a political expression. My father was working in Germany when the Munich Olympics Massacre happened.
All I'm saying is that violence is not necessarily terrorism. Let's not water down the true horror of terrorism by applying the term to everything.