Suzanne Brockmann's Message Board: okay ladies...help me....and random ramblings to follow.....:)

I am 5'4" and about 145 pounds...my problem is...I have no waist...it's all legs...it's weird...my legs are 30 inches long and then no waist and the rest head:)like Ms. Potato Head..(goes with my glass eye, peg-leg and webbed toes:)).....if you can imagine that...ssssooo i can't find clothes to fit...if I go into petites the pants are to short, if I go to Juniors they are three inches too long...what's up with that? shirts....fa-get about it...sleeves hang down past my wrists/and in juniors...well let's just say...I can tell I am getting old due to wanting to tell all the younins to go home, find more material and wrap up in it...geez...nothing to them. Shoes, I have found, much to my delight, are cheaper and cute, for lack of better word, in the kids section...guess where my shoes are coming from? I found these absolutely fabo:) hot/neon pink and black softball spikes in the little girls section...I am quit the fashion statement on the field...
which brings me to the idle rambling...what is it with teenage boys and swinging for the bleachers....duh...every night I go out back with my bat/ball/glove etc...it takes about 5 minutes and I am surrounded my kids of all shapes and sizes...now the pre-teen/teen boys see me bat...(keep in mind my size/imagine your average teen boy size)...they are all swinging and swinging...not connecting...so I finally said to this kid last night...."john do you want to hit the ball or stand there and swing?" (kid is 12/over 6 foot/topping out at 190) he says "ah, hit it?" Okay JOhn good answer....so I say to him "do you want to hit the ball as far as me?" He says "ah, yeah?" making progress....I said..."okay then, it's not a matter of swinging for the bleachers there Mark McQuire" he says "ah, what?" Okay two steps back:) Let's try it this way....me.."John, am I as big as you?" He looks me up/down...."ah, no?" (can't figure out why the kid keeps answering a question with a question)I say "it's a matter of physics John". (can see where this is going can't ya? ) John..."ah, what?" Let's go in the side door....me..."john where does the ball go when you hit it?" John..."ah, in front of the pitcher?" (at least he knows that) Me..."where does it go when I hit it?" "ah, out by the apple tree or down the sewer pipe?" (the kid is a smart-aleck:) So anywho, I FINALLY think I am getting through to the kid...and ask him have you ever done the "chicken dance" You should have seen the look on his face....pure panic...tee hee...he looks at all the other pre-teen/teen boys and rolls his eyes at me...Sorry forgot about the male ego thing;) But I did learn a lesson..don't know how valuable but a lesson all the same..If you are going to try to teach a teeage boy anything: 1) don't do it in front of his buddies 2) don't bring up the "chicken dance" and 3) learn to use short words:)..Me..."okay, DO NOT try to kill the ball, put your back elbow up, bend your knees, swing level" John...."ah, okay?" (did I mention the kid is a GREAT conversationalist?) he steps up...swings to kill and nothing....me...roll eyes...so I step up behind him (him 6' me 5'4", can't hardly reach him, and I look weird too, nothing worse than that:) and I crab his elbows shove my knees into his and swing with him....and slam-o/ bang-o the ball goes a flyin' hits the apple tree and plops...John looks at me like I am a Goddess:)See there is no reason for this rambling at all...just wanted to let you all know I am now the GODDESS of softball...I never said I was aiming high:) and to get your take on the male ego/kill the ball mentality:)
Ty for listening and if anyone has any ideas about the clothes...I am there:) Except I can't afford a tailor or seamstress...too expensive...

Temporary Archive: Suzanne Brockmann's Message Board

okay ladies...help me....and random ramblings to follow.....:)

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