Tom Stuff - Archived Article

In a story published April 17, 2003, "West Tisbury SEAL Discusses His Career and His Mission in an E-mail Interview," The Times interviewed Lt. Commander Tom Rancich from his base in Kuwait where he was preparing for the war with Iraq. In July, when The Times next got in touch with him, he replied from Kandahar, Afghanistan.

Lt. Commander Tom Rancich is back from commanding Navy SEAL (sea, air, land) units in Iraq and Afghanistan. The 19-year veteran has a little over a year to go before he retires from the Navy and will complete his last tour of duty at Newport, R.I. He lives in West Tisbury with his wife, Allyson Reed, and his two sons, Blair, 12, and Gage, 8.

Tom's work is often dangerous and deadly. The SEALs are the Navy's special forces, with the exaggerated romance and the seriously real combat that the phrase conjures up. His family has to deal, as does any military family, with fears for Tom's safety and concerns about the lethal force he employs. Also, like all families facing extended separations, Tom and his family have to face times of adjustment and readjustment.

Tom, an old hand at the process, talked with The Times about separation. "The biggest thing is to be lucky enough to pick the right person for the job of your wife." He went on to explain that he and Allyson are independent persons with strong senses of themselves: "I really trust her capabilities with anything she might have to deal with in my absence."

Tom explained that today the Navy puts a lot of effort into the reintroduction of sailors to their families. Sailors are told, "Your family have been doing just fine without you. They missed you, they love you, but they have an entire life that doesn't revolve around you. If you come back into the household and try to establish your 'alpha-dogness,' nothing good is going to come out of that."

Tom said that e-mail with home was helpful to him and his family in managing everybody's expectations about what his return would be like. Beginning about a month before Tom was to return, they decided to keep the reunion "as low-key as possible."

Allyson and the boys met Tom at the Martha's Vineyard Airport with a big welcome-home banner, but they kept it a family matter. They arranged a quiet period of getting reacquainted, separate from outsiders. No brass band, no parties for neighbors or relatives.

Tom said that it was harder getting readjusted to civilian life than to his family. As an example of a difference between his two lives, Tom said with a smile, "I was driving my son and I was in traffic and I was thinking, 'Why are these people in my way?' The solution I used in Afghanistan wouldn't go over too well here!"

Tom talked about the difference between military life and civilian life: "When I came back into camp [from a mission], everything was done; there was milk and Gatorade in the refrigerator, there was food cooked, the vehicle was taken care of, fueled, everything. Here, when I see all the chores that have to be done around the house, I find myself asking, 'Don't we have any men to do this?' Allyson's answer is, 'Yes, we do — he just got back from Afghanistan.'"

On Oct. 3, Tom presented a flag to the West Tisbury School to thank the students for the letters of support they had sent to him. In a question-and-answer period, one of the students asked him if he was scared in battle. His answer was, "No, for two reasons." First, he said, he believes in the mission, and so if anything bad happened, he would know he was doing something he believed in. Second, he said that the SEALs are so well trained and have so much support that they know what to expect.

The Times asked Tom if his family felt the same way about risk. He explained that special forces families often live near each other and support one another. So all have learned similar ways of dealing with the idea of risk. "The families know how well-trained we are," he said, "and they know we're not going to let each other down." Allyson gave a similar answer when The Times interviewed her in March.

Asked if his sons are affected by Hollywood's heroic representations of Navy SEALs, Tom answered, "I'm not a Navy SEAL to my sons. I'm Dad."

As a SEAL, Tom is trained to kill people, and as an officer, he sometimes has to give orders that result in men being killed. However, he prefers to define himself by the lives that he has saved, rather than by the lives he may or may not have taken. Asked whether his sons understand about killing, Tom answered, "My youngest son may not ... He only knows that war is a big, frightening thing, but my oldest son understands the need for people like me to do what I do, and I think that he's proud of me that I do it. That doesn't lessen his concern, but I think he does understand that there are powerful people who want to use that power for ill, and there are weaker people who need to be protected from them."

Tom will complete his 20-year hitch in March of 2005, but he will be able to take perhaps three months of terminal leave, and so he expects to be out of the Navy in a little over a year. He feels that it is unlikely that he will be sent overseas during his last year. He will probably finish out his career at Newport, R.I., to which he commutes from the Vineyard.

Tom's plans for his retirement are all tentative, but one of the possibilities is a consulting business in leadership training. He is quite certain that the family will stay on Martha's Vineyard. Moving here was Allyson's idea at first, but Tom has been convinced. "I was suspicious at first," he admits, "but I've learned that this is a great place for the boys. The problems that the community has are minor compared to most places, and the school system is great. What I came into suspiciously, I've learned is a great place for a family."